Last week we learned about Sarah’s journey in setting up boundaries for herself.
This week we’ll talk about why it’s important to have boundaries. But first let’s consider what Sarah’s life would be like as she ages, with and without boundaries.
Sarah’s life without boundaries:
As Sarah continues to struggle with boundaries, her reluctance to say no to unwanted commitments grows. This results in heightened stress and eventual burnout. Prioritizing others' needs over her own worsens feelings of low self-worth and diminishes self-love. Consequently, a sense of helplessness deepens, fueling an increase in depression. Neglecting self-care leaves her more vulnerable to physical illness.
Sarah’s life with healthy boundaries in place:
As Sarah begins to establish boundaries and assert herself, she prioritizes her own needs. Her decisions to say yes are rooted in genuine desire rather than obligation. She adopts a habit of reflection throughout the day, and she becomes more attuned to her emotions. This leads to enhanced emotional regulation and a greater sense of fulfillment. Rediscovering long-neglected hobbies brings joy and enrichment to her life. While some may resist Sarah's transformation, those who truly care for her embrace her evolution without hesitation. Over time, Sarah discovers a life filled with purpose and passion. Embracing her authentic self, she cultivates deeper love for herself and others, fostering meaningful connections and a sense of profound contentment.
Like Sarah, setting healthy boundaries is important for living a rich and fulfilling life. We require boundaries to know who we are, to make decisions that will help us thrive and keep us safe, and to meet our needs. When examined closely, we might find that boundaries could improve our lives in nearly every way. Let’s briefly discuss a few more reasons setting boundaries are important.
Boundaries honor who we are
Setting boundaries is an acknowledgment that our needs are valid and we are worthy of having them met. When we move through the world without boundaries, we may disregard our needs so that we can meet the needs of others. We also often dismiss our needs as unimportant or identify as someone who isn’t worth all the trouble. When we set boundaries, we are honoring the fact that each of us is precious and worthy of care and respect.
Boundaries Give Us Protection
Boundaries help protect us from outside influence and manipulation. In other words, when we set strong boundaries, we are less likely to be coerced into behaving in ways that conflict with our authentic self. They also help protect us by ensuring that our needs are met and that we are not overextending ourselves in a way that only serves others.
Boundaries Help Us Avoid Burnout and Resentment
When we overextend ourselves or allow someone to repeatedly violate a boundary, we will start to feel burned out and bitter. Unfortunately, we don’t always notice this is happening until it is too late. By setting and upholding boundaries, we protect ourselves from these undesirable states of mind.
Boundaries Help Improve Our Relationships
One of the main reasons we are reluctant to set boundaries is fear of damaging our relationships. However, when we are in a healthy relationship, setting boundaries improves the relationship. Being clear and direct about what our needs are provides a greater sense of trust and connection. Additionally, the person we are in a relationship with can feel more comfortable knowing that they aren’t going to accidentally trample a boundary they didn’t know we had.
Boundaries Help Us Care for Ourselves
Boundaries are a critical piece of self-care. Setting boundaries honors the fact that we are human beings with needs that are worthy of being met. When we are able to fully recognize our humanity in this way and fully engage with our authentic selves, we are better able to care for and nourish ourselves and others.
Boundaries are not just lines we draw; they are affirmations of our self-worth and declarations of our right to be treated with dignity and respect. When we establish boundaries, we are acknowledging the preciousness of our own being and the importance of honoring our needs. These boundaries serve as a shield, protecting us from external pressures that seek to mold us into something we're not. By setting and upholding our boundaries, we safeguard ourselves from the insidious effects of burnout and resentment, preserving our mental and emotional well-being. Moreover, boundaries fortify our relationships, fostering trust, understanding, and deeper connections with those we hold dear. And perhaps most importantly, boundaries are an act of self-care, reminding us that we are deserving of the same love and consideration that we so freely give to others. In embracing boundaries, we embrace ourselves, paving the way for a life of authenticity, purpose, and profound fulfillment.