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  • Katherine Wiens

Three Steps to Change Your Life


Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.” This quote can be especially helpful when we are dealing with stressful events. But the way we look at things is often a set, lifelong pattern of thinking. It’s the way it’s always been and how we’ve always viewed things. So how do we change that?


Changing how we look at things may be difficult. However, continuing to view stressful events the same way can make us feel we powerless. Feeling like we have no control, agency, or autonomy in our life can be very damaging. When we feel we have no control over the things that happen in our life it’s easy to feel helpless. When feeling helpless continues to dominate our life we can develop a sense of learned helplessness. When this occurs, we often lose hope that things will ever change. But there is hope. Changing how we look at things is an important part of our physical and emotional well-being. And while it is true there are many things, we cannot change in the outside world, we can change things internally.

ess. When this occurs, we often lose hope that things will ever change. But there is hope. Changing how we look at things is an important part of our physical and emotional well-being. And while it is true there are many things, we cannot change in the outside world, we can change things internally.


Changing our mindset is one of the most important things we can do. Mindset is how we chose to view things. An important part of mindset is whether it is internal or external. An external mindset is seeing things that are happening to us. These are the things that we have less or no control over. An internal mindset is realizing the only thing we can truly control is ourselves. When we understand we can control and change our internal beliefs then we feel more empowered and this can help us deal with stress better.


Here are three ways you can change your internal mindset and take action.



Find your voice. This means you can tell others what you want. When you feel hopeless about a situation, it may seem like there is nothing you can do. But speaking up is something you can do. Whether or not the other person responds in the way you want, just saying what you feel and desire is empowering.


Determine your behavior. We are the only ones that decide how we behave. When you are in a situation you don’t like or is hurtful to you, one thing you can change is your behavior. First, think about what you want in the situation. Then think about what you need to do to make that happen. Also, what is your goal or motivation? Then the next step is action.



Take action. In order for any change to happen, we must take action. This is one of the most important things we can do. When we feel there are things, we cannot control it’s easy to stop trying. But taking action, even if it’s a small step can be empowering. When taking action, it’s important to start small. Acknowledge the steps you are taking. It’s easy to beat ourselves up for not doing more. But we can change that mindset too. Remember the tortoise in the story of the “Tortoise and the Hare” By taking small consistent steps we get us where we want to go.


Change can happen. This starts with our own internal mindset. We can’t change other people and how they respond to us, but we can change our responses and actions. This brings hope and empowerment as we navigate the journey of life.



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