Letting Go of the “Someday” Self: Decluttering Fear, Fantasy, and People-Pleasing

We all have those things tucked away somewhere, hidden in closets, bins, or the back of drawers.

The jeans we hope will fit again. The stack of books we’ll read “when life slows down.” The art supplies, the unopened yoga mat, the untouched language course.

On the surface, these items look harmless, maybe even hopeful. But often, they carry something heavier: fear, shame, and pressure. Not just pressure to change, but pressure to become someone different.

When “Someday” Becomes a Burden

If you’ve ever kept something because it represented the version of you who is more organized, more creative, more disciplined, or—let’s be honest—more acceptable, then you already know what “someday” clutter feels like.

For people-pleasers especially, “someday” items aren’t just about personal goals. They often hold the weight of approval, the belief that if we just worked harder, looked different, or achieved more, we’d finally earn the acceptance we crave.

The problem is that these items don’t just reflect hope, they also reflect fear.

Fear of being “not enough” as we are. Fear of letting someone down. Fear that without these symbols of potential, we’re somehow less worthy.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to become someone else to be worthy of peace. Letting go of “someday” clutter isn’t giving up—it’s choosing to love the you who exists right now.

The Bin of Unfinished Becoming

I know this because I’ve lived it.

For years, I had a bin in my closet stuffed with fitness gear and diet books.

At first glance, it looked like the kind of bin a health-conscious person might own. And it started out as a desire to be healthier. But after years of not using the equipment, it wasn’t about health anymore, was about fantasy.

That bin represented a “better” version of me:

• The me who never struggled with food.

• The one who was thinner, more disciplined, more admired.

When I bought these things, I was inspired to use them. But that’s not what happened. Every time I saw that bin, I didn’t feel motivated—I felt ashamed.

It wasn’t a reminder of what I could become. It was a reminder of the pressure I felt to be acceptable. And deep down, I wasn’t keeping it for myself. I was keeping it because I thought that’s what I should be working toward.

When I finally let that bin go, I felt lighter. I was able to let go of the pressure and finally accept the me I am today. While being healthy is still a goal, I can let go of the fantasy of who I believed I “should” be.

Now I can make space for wellness that felt good on my own terms. And more importantly, I made space to trust myself again.

How to Let Go of “Someday” Clutter

You don’t have to keep living under the weight of the version of you that only exists in theory. You’re allowed to create a home—and a life—that reflects who you actually are.

Here’s a simple way to start:

1. Pick one “someday” item—something you’ve been holding onto for the future version of yourself.

2. Hold it in your hands and ask:

Is this helping me become who I actually want to be—or is it keeping me stuck in pressure, guilt, or fear?

3. Notice your body’s reaction. If it lights you up, inspires you, or still feels like a true goal for today, keep it.

4. Release what weighs you down. If it only reminds you of what you’re not doing, not achieving, or not being—let it go. That’s not inspiration. That’s emotional clutter.

Choosing Truth Over Fantasy

Letting go of a “someday” item isn’t failure. It’s self-trust.

It’s you saying:

• I don’t have to earn my worth.

• I don’t have to perform my way to peace.

• I don’t have to prove I deserve rest or joy.

You don’t have to become someone else to be worthy of peace, you already are that person.

Reflection: Making Peace with Your Present Self

Letting go of the “someday” self is about more than decluttering a drawer or a closet—it’s about releasing the quiet ways we tell ourselves we’re not enough yet.

When we choose to keep only the things that support our life now, we’re making a declaration:

I am worthy.

Use these journal prompts to help you uncover what’s been weighing you down and what you’re ready to release:

1. Identify Your “Someday” Self

   • Who is the version of you that you’ve been holding onto through your things?

   • What does she do? Look like? Accomplish?

   • Where did the idea of her come from—your own desires, or someone else’s expectations?

2. Spot the Emotional Clutter

   • What items in your home make you feel guilt, shame, or “not enough”?

   • What emotions come up when you think about letting them go?

3. Reclaim Your Space

   • If your space only reflected the life you truly want right now, what would change?

   • What’s one item you can release today to make room for peace?

4. Affirm Your Worth

   • Write a statement that feels true for today, such as:

     I am allowed to be enough without proving, performing, or perfecting.

 Action Step: Choose one “someday” item and let it go this week. Take a picture of the space it leaves behind—not to remember the item, but to remind yourself of the freedom you created.